Goodbye To My Blog???

Recently I've been considering not posting on my blog anymore and just keeping a journal to write down all of my personal thoughts and issues. It's just really hard to be completly open with what I'm feeling when I also know dozens and hundreds of people are going to read it.

I don't know yet. I'll wait until tomorrow to see how I feel about this.

Peace&Love, SL

Happy Birthday Michael Jackson!!!!!

Michael FINALLY turns 47 today!!! I feel that this is sort of a new revelation where we might just get to finally see him as a genuine 47 year old man and not a man-child. I highly doubt that he hasn't changed and has a desire to portray him as such. I mean, his whole life was put on trial and we know almost everything about him. We now know that he like porn and sometimes drinks alcohol(in a soda can so kids around won't know). But is that a big deal?? No.

I, as well with millions of others, are still waiting patiently for him to speak to the media about what is going on with his life now and the past traumatic expieriance that ate away at his health and well-being.

God bless you and your family Mike. I love you dearly.

Peace&Love, SL

Nice Saturday.....

Mom, Dad, and I went to the mall today and ate at Ruby Tuesdays. Zach stayed home, kinda suprising. While we were eating dad mentioned this webite where you can look up almost any music video you want to see, called Netcape. As soon as we go home I got on the internet and looked it up to find any Janet Jackson videos and thankfully, there was the video for "If", which I've always wanted to see but hadn't. A helluva lot better than I thought. I want to buy that album.

Anyway, after we ate I went to the bookstore and looked at the social sciences section and came across Nancy Disgrace's work-of-fiction book, which I took and put right behind the others *evil grin*. I'm sorry but that woman is the most unprofessional and idiotic "reporter" I have ever seen on telivision. Her career in the media won't last long, though. A year from now people are going to be asking "Nancy who??" So yeah.......

Looking through the social sciences some more, I found it a bit hilarious that there are so many books writen by only extreme liberals and extreme conservatives, kinda nodody in between, which is where I fit in in terms of society, religion, morals, etc. Whatever happened to the idea that we're all individuals who are going to have diffrent opinions?? What happened to diversity and tolerating it, besides putting each other down and refusing to let us live our own lives and make our own decisions?? That's just how I feel about it.

*moving on to something else*

I havn't talked about Michael Jackson in a while but there hasn't been any major stories about HIM in particular but new did break this week that Janet Arvizo has been charged with her welfare fraud, which came out during the trial, and could spend up to 5 years in prision at the least, from what I understand.
There's pretty much only 1 word to say about this: KARMA.
It's sick that the media is giving the least bit of sympethy to her by having to audicity to say that her freakin bail was too high(so was Michael Jackson's dumbasses) and that she's also pregnant(there are alot of pregnant women on jail) and her hubby, Jay Jackson, is having to go to Iraq. Get real. The woman was collecting $18,000 in THE TAXPAYERS money when she has just recieved over $150,000 in her previous JCPenny scam. Should I feel sorry for this woman?? Hell no. I hope she gets the maximum sentence. Hell, the DA was even informed about this by Michael Jackson's defence team many months before the trial started and asked to have the charges dropped and they refused!! She was indeed a grifter and was supposed to be prosecuted and instead they tried to portray her as a helpless saint.

Michael has been informed about all of this, by the way, according to Tom Meserau, who was on TV recently talking about this.

My birthday is coming up in about 3 weeks I think, and I don't really know what I want to do. I would like to go to that Japenese restraunt in Huntsville. Mom was saying to me the other day that papa was wanting to get me a new TV to put in my room, since my old one broke. I told mom that I don't really want or need one anymore.

This post is getting to long now. Later.

Peace&Love, SL

I Luv This.....

Someone on MJNO did this and it's so beautiful....I wish I could use it as the header. I'm still working on it but I don't think I can.

Happier Today.....

I'm really feeling this templete right now so it'll stay.

God I felt like hell last night. I can't belive what I was feeling and what I wanted to do to myself it was extremely wiered.

I still don't want to specify what was the reason for what caused me getting so upset because it is regarding the media and Michael Jackson and it deserves no attention anywhere.

But I feel so much better today and I'm not even worrying about it anymore right now. PMS sucks ass.

Why do I suddenly feel the need to feel close to God?? I know that sounds so strange but I feel that I want to find salvation and spirituality and believe in the things I used to when I was younger. Maybe this whole athiest thing was just a phase?? I still am skeptical that God does exist and maybe I need more time to think about it.

There are things I seriously need to do this year because I still feel like I'm 15 and I don't want to be treated like I'm still 15.

Here are a few things:

*learn to drive(which I still haven't done yet)
*re-paint my room(still the same damn color it was 5 years ago)
*read more books(I'm still trying to read that book I mentioned last night it's called "Gathering Blue")

That's all I can think of right now I might update.

Peace&Love, SL

Sad.....

I've had horrible PMS today. Felt extremely moody and irritated. At least I finished most of my work though.

I feel so depressed right now but I don't want to say why because it doesn't deserve to be posted here or anywhere else. I cried twice today and felt like cutting my wrists or taking something to make me sleep but I haven't.

God, I wish I would just get my damn period so at least my hormone levels will drop. Hopefully I'll feel better tomorrow.

I'm trying to read a book that I've had to be more productive. I forget the name of it at this moment but it's supposed to be really good and Catlin gave it to me almost 2 years ago for Christmas but never read it until now.

I have to get ready for bed now it's almost 10.

Peace&Love

Bullcrap......

I couldn't go to the fucking public library today because they're not open on Saturdays anymore. So now I pretty much have nothing to do now.

I'm getting bored with this templet and I think I'm gonna change it soon but this was my favorite out of all of them. I'm also getting quite bored with the profile pic so I think I'll change that today as well. I have a web cam and I think you can take pics of yourself with it but I have not idea how it works or if it does at all.

Peace&Love

*sighs* O Lord......

How the hell did I get through today??? I should't have taken that Tylonol PM last night but if I hadn't taken something to help me go to sleep, I would'nt have been able to. Anyway those tylonols are supposed to make you sleep for like, 10-12 hours, which I only slept around 7 and a half. So I was quite tired all day today, but I got all of my work done at least.

Tomorrow I want to go to the library and get a few books to read since it's been months since I've read one. There's probably a biography or two on Princess Diana so I might get that. Stephen King is really popular I'm pretty sure I could find alot of his books. Come to think of it.....the public library has a web site so I'll look up the books there.

Bored now.

Peace&Love, SL

What Do Ya Think I Did Today???

Absolutly fucking nothing!!! Today was actually really productive and I worked alot in all of my classes.

I think the only homework I have to do in a little while is that current event thingy for Health. I have the article I just have to write a half page on it.

I didn't finish my short story I started yesterday and I would work on it in school if I had free time but you know, I really don't so......

This situation with my classes is starting to take a little bit of a toll on me. I don't have a study hall or a "sit around and sleep or talk" class. I work in all of my classes and it's mentally exausting.Oh well....it'll get better I think and thankfully I have study hall next semester instead of Art.

That's all I feel like writing. Goodbye.

Peace&Love, SL

Sucky Day......

Well, not an awlful day it's just that I now have a ton of textbooks that I have to lug around school all damn day and they almost don't fit in my backpack. Oh well.....

I did get inspired enough today to write another Michael Jackson fanfiction but I'm not done with it yet.

Damn, I have a bit of homework today:

* part of an english w/sheet
* crap algebra w/sheet
* shit section review in History

I'll have to finish the english tonight because I have that first period. And maybe the algebra thingy too.

Peace&Love, SL

Mood: Bored As Hell

What a boring ass day. Ava is over here and is driving all of us crazy as usual. Fall pictures are Thursday and hopefully my face won't completly break out by then.

Nothing interesting to write about other than I've been thinking about sex alot these past few days. That's about all I have to say for now.

I suddenly feel inspired to write another story. Later.

Peace&Love, SL

Home From School

Today actually went very very well. I don't have any homework and I suprisingly stayed alert in all of my classes and now my brain is really tired.

I did something really productive with my time this past weekend. I felt really inspired to write a fan fiction story for MJEOL and I've written 1 and a half chapters so far. It's called "The Dancer" and basically it's about a young and virginal devout Catholic woman who is a backup dancer for Michael Jackson and they meet and fall in love but his girlfriend Karen Faye causes some problems. Right now I don't really feel inspired enough to continue with the story. I guess I'll have to think about it some more.

Peace&Love, SL

Some Random Thoughts....

*Hot Janet song I'm listening to right now
*terrible cold I have from sleeping with that AC on freezing
*Still need to wash my bedding and vacum my floor
*Michael Jackson *daydreaming*
*Skin feels dry from that damn new cleanser I've started using
*Horrible new breakouts on my face (maybe from the stress of school)
*Mom at work
*Dad outside mowing
*took shower
*need to shave legs and condition hair tomorrow
*neck hurts a little
*Want to order that Toni Braxton CD from amazon

That's all the randon thoughts I'll write for now. I was just bored.

I've been working on a photo album on Photobucket. So far I have alot of Janet Jackson Video Captures and a few HOT Michael Jackson pics. I wish Damita Jo.net would hurry up and get back online because that's they have the best online Janet Jackson gallery.

TGIF!!!!

Today was, for me, mentally and physically exausting. My teachers started thier first lessons today and I kept up with pretty much everything. I still need a few more things for school but everything else is going pretty smoothly and I hope it stays that way. But it's been draining and I just completly crashed shortly after I got home and slept for about 2 and a half hours.

Well, 2 days down and about 173 days(I think) to go LOL!!!!

Nothing interesting goin on with Michael J. lately. Yes, I've been ckecking up on what or what isn't going on with him and there hasn't been really ANY headlines on him at all, which is good. His birthday is in about 2 weeks and he'll FINALLY be 47!!!

My birthday is coming up too come to think of it and no, I don't think I'll get a car until alot later. I have to learn how to drive and get my lisense first.

Peace&Love

A Little Exausted.....

Today was the first day of school and I have to admit it was PROBABLY the best first day of school I've ever had. I woke up at 5:30 and showered and I blow dried my hair(I wore it loose today). The one problem I had was I was supposed to go to my HOMEROOM first and not 1st period so I ended up having to leave that class and find homeroom.

Almost every single teacher has done this today and it's like this every year and I don't know why. They gave all of us these papers where we have to describe oursleves, what's our interests and hobbies, what do we like and do not like about school, blah blah blah blah blah.....

I get the feeling that they only do that to pass the time because it's like an unwritten rule that you're not supposed to do anything the first day of school. But then again, maybe they do actually read them BUT it's still quite annoying having to fill those things out in almost every single class.

All of my teachers are great.....so far at least. My favorite classes so far is Kaliedoscope of Health and Algebra(I have Coach Boman again!!!).

I don't think high school gets any easier or harder.....it kinda stays the same I think judging from today. But time will tell I guess LOL.

Starting School Tomorrow.......

Tomorrow is my first day back to school(10th grade). To be honest, I'm not really jumping up and down about it and completly looking forward to it. But I'm not dreding it either. I haven't hardly anyone from school since.....the last day of 9th grade actually, which is like 2 months. Thankfully, I know what I'm gonna wear and I think I'll be more pretpared than I was last year. And I think it'll be alot easier finding all of my classes. I still haven't really gotton the binders, paper, and pencils yet but we'll get those today.

When Mom gets home we'e going out to eat and then to the mall. I decided to go with them so I gotta get ready really soon.

There was another poem that I wrote the other day that I thought to post here. I will tonight then.

Peace&Love, SL

A Poem....

I was feeling inspired last night so I decided to write a poem or two. This one isn't really good but I think it's ALRIGHT considering it only took me around 10 minutes to write it.

Why couldn't I see
beond what was said
Why couldn't I see
that the truth is dead

It's the root of all evil
and it'll hurt your pride
but say you're sorry you bastards
or shut up and hide

LOL!!!! It's kinda funny and strange but I was referring to our corrupt media and how they treated Michael Jackson before, throughout, and after the trial and what is still being said now.

I wrote another poem and I might post it here through an audio messege later or I'll just write it.

Anywho, I just found out that Tom Meserau will be on CNN tonight to respond to those dumbfuck, money-hungery jurors who are penning "Michael Jackson Is Guilty I regret My Virdict" books. Tom M. was on MSNBC last night and most people(including me) agree that he really got the point across that thse jurors changed thier toon to promote thier crappy books. Hell, the damn scumbag media isn't even backing these jurors up even Nancy Disgrace!!! Not that that makes me have more respect for the media I still don't.

It's kinda nice not really watching TV anymore. My TV broke like a week or so ago and I haven't watched hardly any TV since. I'm not really complaning it's not like I ever watched TV for productive reasons LOL. And I hate the media so......it's kinda nice.

I've been thinking alot recently and......bear with me it could just be hormones......I've come to the conclusion that I think I'm still gonna be a virgin when I finish high school. Not that I have any negative feelings about that I really don't!! It's just that sex isn't worth doing if you're not in love with the person you decide to do it with and I don't think that will happen anytime soon. I can't really relate to anyone I go to school with, I have to admit. I find myself really relating to that girl on "The Real World". Her name is Lacey and she's a 23 year old virgin. LOL you would have to watch her on that show to really get what I'm saying.

I'm gonna go now and surf the net some more.

Peace&Love

3:05 pm

This completly pisses me off!!!!!!

Recently 2 jurors are penning books about how they think Michael Jackson was/is guilty of something in the past. You see, one of them is this old lady and she now says she honestly believes Michael Jackson was guilty and that she was "bullied" into aquitting him. It's worse than I thought.
This thing is that's the complete opposite of what she said on Larry King Live and that her book would just be about the bonding expierence of the jury, etc *rolls eyes*.

And guess what?? Now, according to the New York Post, a THIRD juror is also supposedly penning a book and now rechants her belief in Michael's innocence. Why not the whole fucking jury rechant thier virdict and write books?? Fucking assholes. As soon as the book deal came along for them, they lie for thier own fucking gain to promote them. This is what's going on right now.

They're going to be on Rita Cosby(bitch) tonight and thankfully, Tom Meserau will be on there too to respond to these jurors and hopefully he'll set these dumbfucks straight and humiliate thier sorry asses. Maybe I'll watch it but I don't know. There will be notes posted on MJNO so.......

And Rita Cosby described these jurors as "sincere" on the promo of tonights show. Kiss my fucking ass.

Peace&Love,

My 10th Grade Scedule

I can't remember all the classes that I signed up for back in the spring but I think I get to take most of them(I don't remember wanting to take study hall but that's OK)

Anyway here are my scedules:

1st & 2nd Semesters

1st- English 10
2nd- Health/Drivers Ed
3rd- Art/Study Hall
4th- Algebra 1B
5th- Kaleidoscope of Health/Health Speak
6th- Biology
7th- US History to 1877

I'm taking like, 3 health classes this year. Kinda wiered but oh well. I have a bottom locker which I think I'll like but if I don't then I can change it. I'm glad I don't have to take PE again that class is so boring. I think I might gian wieght because I won't be doing much pysical stuff from now on. Hmmmm.......anyway, I don't know for sure why I wanted to take Art agian because I did last year and it was boring and the last portion of last year I just went to the library. I don't think I'll do that this year I think I would like to do more creative things than I did last year. I'm not much of an artist at all though.

OK I'm bored again I'm gonna go now.

Peace&Love, SL

My First Audio Post!!!!!

3:02 pm

I was gonna go to the library today but I couldn't force my self to wake up at 10 am. I didn't wake up until 12 and mom would've been too busy to take me anyway. I guess I can go Monday because they're open until 7 pm.

I still can't fugure out how to set up a fuckin audioblog account. I still haven't gotton a response from whoever is person from the Help section. Maybe I will tonight or tomorrow I guess. Maybe I can email someone who has an audioblog and ask how they set thier's up.

No update on the situation with Michael Jackson's kids and Debbie Rowe today, which I'm sorta thankful for, there's no bad news. But if something has come up then I don't want to be left in the dark.

There's a new story that Michael has indeed done an interview with the british OK! magazine. I'm still a bit skeptical but I hope it's true. And if it is true, then the issue will supposedly be out next week.

Haley came over with Ava a little while ago and hung out. I guess we have a cabin to stay in when we go to Gatlinburg next month. It's quite ugly on the outside but the inside of it is really pretty.

That's all I feel like writing for now. Later...

Peace&Love, SL

7:11 pm

Fuck!!!! For some retarded reason I couldn't set up a fuckin audioblogger account!!! I sent an email to whoever the hell runs Blogger and I still haven't gotton a response yet. Maybe I will later tonight or tomorrow. Maybe I can try to figure it out what the hell I have to do to fix whatever's the problem.

There are other people who have audioblogs here. I'll go check them out.

Peace&Love, SL

4:53 pm

Nothing going on today as usual. I just took a shower and I've wasted alot of my time arguing on MJNO...LOL.

I tried last night to make an audio blog post. I read about it and it's supposed to be really easy. I'm gonna try agian in a minute to see if I can get that number you're supposed to use. Maybe it's for upgraded bloggers but I'm not sure.

Be back later.....

Peace&Love, SL

6:52 pm

Well, I got my shot(it didn't hurt) and my scedule and locker today. I'll probably talk more about that later because there's something I'm more concerned about.

Michael Jackson's kids will visit thier mother, Debbie Rowe. The news of it broke today and it shocked me at first but I see it as a positive thing.

From what I understand, photos have been released of the children boarding a plane(without Michael accompaning them supposedly) to go to America to visit Debbie. This much I believe is true but everything else being reported about it is just mere specualation at it's worst again and just taboid. They say that the arrangement is joint custody but more than likely it has to be just a visitation agrangement such as she gets to see them a certian time every month or few months or something of that sort.

I'm glad they finally settled on something that they're both happy about regarding thier kids. This has gone on long enough even from my point of view.

That's pretty much the only interesting thing that's going on right now with my life.

Peace&Love, SL

12:24 am

I forgot to add earlier that there's this new pic of Michael in Barhain that surfaced today!!! It's been going around most Michael Jackson websites so far. It's the first picture anyone's seen of him since the day he was aquitted.

Damn, he looks soooooo AMAZING it took my breath away when I first saw it. He looks so much better and I'm so lovin the stubble there!!

It appears that he's in a shopping mall and I think the only person that's with him is his bodygaurd.

I wouldn't be suprised if he really decided to live in Bahrain. It's beautiful and there really isn't a media there at all. He's better off there, in my opinion. Why would anyone want to live in a country where your name has been slandered a billion times over and you're branded a freak and a pedofile?? I sure as hell wouldn't.

Bahrain seems nice. I want to find out more about it.

Peace&Love, SL

2:54 pm

Well, I can't get my scedule today. Me and dad went down to the high school but they said I have to have my blue slip to even be enrolled in school. Meaning I have to have some sort of shot to get my blue slip. I'll have to get it at the Health Dept. tomorrow and then we'll go back to the HS right after. BTW, I'm not worried about getting a shot.

It's been reported that Michael Jackson sold his post trial story to a british weekly magazine for 2 million dollars. I don't really buy it because it was initally reported by a cheap tabloid.

He's also close to an agreement with his ex-wife Debbie Rowe over the visitation of his kids. His attorney recently said that both parties will be happy with the settlement. I'm glad this is finally going to end and they can move on with thier lives.

I had another cyber chat with another guy last night who was really just an asshole. He was so slow and was talking to me like he was reading from a trashy novel. Really wiered. He got pissed off when I wanted to stop and go to bed and I called him a fucker and told him to go fuck some other hoe into submission because it wasn't going to be me. I'm still a little pissed about it but I put him on ignore.

I had to wake up at 11 this morning so get ready to go to the high school. I'm really tired now I think I'll go take a nap.

Peace&Love, SL

1:05 am

You're not going to believe what I did a little while ago.

I had my first cyber sex chat on Yahoo Messenger. I could not believe what came over me and to be honest, I really liked it!!! The guy I was doing this with was black I think and kept nagging me to do things like grab his dick and make him come. And he kept asking me to describe my vagina and clititoris. Kinda wiered. I''ve never done anything like that. Hell, I've never even kissed a boy before for crying out loud!!! Well anyway, basically all I was wanting him to do was get on top of me(cyber of course) and fuck the hell out of me and then me get on top of him and ride him from here to China. Jeez...it's not that hard but he wasn't really listening.

BTW, this dude I think was 20 something and he didn't have a web cam so I couldn't see him.

I wanna do it again, I have to admit. There's tons of guys in YM dying to so I guess that's what I'm gonna do now.

Peace&Love, SL

3:00 pm

Hi. Mom, Dad, and Zach went to the orthodontist and I'm here alone.

Guess what I did last night!!!! I met some people on Yahoo Messenger!! It's really cool I think I'm hooked now. Most of the people I've met are 20 something year old men but I don't think I'll talk to them again. Damn, alot of these people I've met are complete perverts!!! The one guy that I've chatted with alot since yesterday that's really nice is this guy named Kokoh. He's 27 or 28 and really nice. He's an artist and he sent me some of his work and it's amazing!!!

He's cute too!!! The picture in his profile is a drawing of him that he did. I might post it here later. I would talk to him now but he's offline.

The one thing that sucks about Yahoo Messenger is I haven't met a single guy that's my age. And another thing is Zach found out last night that I was using YM and the only other person here who uses it is Dad. Yeah, mom and dad would be pissed if they found out I was chatting with men that old but I can just say I was chatting with Crystal or Jennifer(people from school). Zach's the noseiest person I know he's probably already blabbed to them.

Tomorrow mom and I are going to the high school to pick up my new scedule!!! I'm looking forward to it and I'm not really that nervous. I'm trying not to think about it that much.

I forgot a few of the classes I signed up for. I'll write them down here tomorrow.

Oh, I almost forgot about something. That thing I wrote yesterday about Michael Jackson buying a house in Bahrain. Well, from what someone said on MJNO today, that story was innitally written by the New York Post-a tabloid. So, if this is correct then more than likely it isn't true. I'm still not sure where that story innitally started.

Peace&Love, SL

3:47 pm

I felt like crap waking up this morning(well actually it was 1 pm). I started my period and had cramps from hell. I took a motrin but it took like an hour to kick in I think.

Anyway, we might be going back to Gatlinburgh in September!!!! Mom said she wants to go there for Labor Day which is like the 3rd I think. I wish it could be later than that because I won't be 16 by Labor Day!! I suggested sometime in October but she still wants to go in Sept. For what reason I don't know. Why the hell can't we go at Christmas like we've done for the past 2 years??!! On the other hand, you gotta admit it's completly packed there at Christmas and it's freazing as well. I like the idea of going in the fall but I wanna turn 16 first!! Oh well, I don't think Mom has even found a cabin yet so we'll just haveto see what's availible this fall.

In other things, I found a few chat rooms last night!!! One is called TeenSpot and I went there a little while ago but I don't think I will again because I'm kinda ignored. It's kinda ridiculus actually.

There's another one I registered for but I haven't checked it out yet it's called True something I forgot but I'm gonna check that one out soon.

Guess what I heard today about Michael J.!!! He REPORTEDLY bought a mansion in Bahrain and will be living there. If this is true, I'll be so happy for him. There's no media in Bahrain and he's not tackled by paparatzi and best of all, he's out of Santa Barbra County. Meaning out of reach from Sneddon&Co. Yeeeesssss!!!!!!!

I still need to buy school suplies for school. I don't really need that much but the sooner I get it, the better.

Be back later.

Peace&Love, SL