New!!!

This new pic of Michael that I found. It's not really recent. He looks great, as usual. I think it's from a couple of months ago. I hope his new charity single is almost finished. I've been very patient!!! I can't wait to finally hear from him. Maybe he'll do an interview to promote the song!! I have a very tiny feeling that we're going to hear something of it's completion very soon. Hopefully within the next week. I know there was speculation that it was going to be released some time before Christmas and be a Holiday #1, but that was innitially started by us fans and it was positive speculation. At least it's better than people speculating that production of the song will NOT go further and won't be released, when if that was the case, we would be informed of that from Michael Jackson's camp(mostly referring to his publicist Ramone Bain). Like he's going to leave his millions of fans(as well as many other people) hanging, thinking the project is still on when it isn't. He's not that damn stupid. Some people in that frame of mind, I think, need to chill and stop bitching. A little optimism won't kill you.

Peace all :)

What Do You Do When You're Bored???

Merry Christmas!!! Or Happy Holidays......

I just back from another little "get-together" at Nie-nie's and now I'm bored and have nothing to do. Normally, that never even crosses my mind since I spend most of my time moderating MJNO, but now I seriously think I need to take a few days away from it. This past week was a really low one for me, and alot of it had to do with spending so much time on the forum to the point where I think I've become obsessive compulsive. I've logged out of my account and deleted my bookmark to the site and won't be setting eyes on it until Tuesday night or Wednesday.

Now what do I do?? I could go to Bored.com and chat with Santa Clause again but that gave me a headache. Or I could be look up those adoption shows on TV that Haley was talking about tonight. I can't think of anything else.....

I can't wait untill New Years!!! 2005 has been a bitch.

Xmas Eve Bioches!!!!

Today is Christmas Eve. I had to wake up really early this morning to go to Nie-nie's for breakfast and opening gifts. I'm so tired right now. I should really take a nap but we're going to Granny Darlene's house for dinner. And then we come back here and I can open the rest of my presents from Mom and Dad.

That's all I feel like writing for now.

Michael Xmas Shopping

This picture of Michael, I believe, was taken today. He's in Bahrian now and it's Christmas Eve(thier time). He looks so amazing!! It's reasuring for me to see him since I haven't in a long while. Here's a short article:

Singing star Michael Jackson took a 45-minute private shopping trip to Ashraf’s (Hoora) at 10.30pm on Thursday with security surrounding the shopping arcade. According to our count, Michael bought seven bags full of high-quality gifts and then graciously stood by his limo and shook hands with all the staff.
http://www.bahraintribune.com/Articl...9&CategoryId=0

I'm so happy.

3 Days Till Xmas :)

Christmas is almost here and I feel like I should be happy, but I'm not. This week, I've probably felt more desolate than I ever have. I'm stressed out over things that I can't do anything about and I don't feel like doing things that I used to enjoy. I just feel like I'm doing less and less. Yesterday I hardly ate anything, and what I did eat was overprossesed and junk. I look horrible. I haven't done anything productive. I don't know of anything to look forward to in the New Year. But I guess I shouldn't go into 2006 with any certian expectations, because more than likely I'll end up getting hurt and disappointed. But still, one thing I would like to see more than anything, would be Michael doing an interview. Eventually he'll have to do some sort of promotion for the charity single that's almost finished and I think an interview might include that. So, that's one little thing I'm expecting.

Alot of people make New Years Resolutions. I might make a few. Kinda need to.

No Better

Emotionally, today was no better than yesterday mostly in part of the media reports about Michael Jackson. For the past several days there have been updated reports about his financial situation and today was kinda the breaking point. He has financially gone into default over millions of dollars of dept that he hasn't paid or apparently, not resolved to pay off, and there is a possibility that he may lose his Neverland Ranch. This is the most I can make of this sense I do not know that much at all about technical things such as Michael's situation, but basically that's what's happening. I also don't know at the moment what is the worst that could happen to him because of this.

Another thing that reportedly is happening in his life, that was reported today, concerns his 2 oldest children and his ex-wife. REPORTEDLY, there has been a "secret court hearing", in which she has filed child abduction papers against Michael for not allowing him to see thier kids. Apparently, since the custody battle has been thrown out of court to be handled in private arbitration, there was a visitation scedule set and Michael MIGHT have broken it, leading his ex-wife to take legal action. This is that I think has happened, at least. This is a veeeerrrry serious situation, because IF this is true, Michael could be looking at child abduction charges, and I don't know what's the worst that could happen to him. I'm worried that he could be arrested or (worse) his children being completely taken out of his custody, or......I just don't know.

But as legitimate and true as this report apears to be, it could always turn out to be fabricated and false. I innitially learned of this through an article from TMZ.com, a celebrity tabloid website. They claim to have appeared at this "secret court hearing". What gets me and alot of people is if this hearing was so damn secret, how could a news source such as this one could have known about it and attended it?? I have been watching the news for hours today and nothing has been mentioned of this. Nothing on CNN, FOX, MSNBC, etc. Nothing. It shocks me that no other news source had no knowlege of this so-called hearing. I am really taking into more consideration at this moment that there is a greater possibility that this story is more dodgy than I innitilly thought.

Another thing that gets me is nothing in TMZ.com's report mentioned anything of a comment from either attornies handling this, or even if they didn't comment at all. If this situation was indeed happening, I know for a fact that there would have.

I hope his publicist Ramone Bain comments on this and debunks it, or someone from his camp at least. I would be so relieved.

I hate to admit that I've been stressed out all day because of all this^^. All of it just came out of nowhere. Although it has sunk in and I'm dealing with it very well, I've aged 5 years today. I don't truly feel like I'm 16. More like 20-something. I feel more depressed than I have in a long while. I hope tomorrow is better.

Nothing Comes Without a Price : Pt. 2

I feel calmer now since my last post about this whole "library book" situation. Today has just completely and utterly sucked. And it's a Monday: why should I be suprised?? Mom has sent an email to City Hall or somewhere about this and I wish she hadn't. I don't understand why it's nessesary to take it this far. I guess now the only thing I can hope for is that this gets resolved as soon as possible. If it does and I can then check out books from the library, Dad or someone besides me will be going to get them. The books that I was going to check out today I had asked to be put on hold and hopefully they still are. I don't think I'm going to be able to look those librarians in the face again after this ordeal, thanks to Mom.

Tomorrow I might go to the library in Guntersville. I don't think it's even half as the one here and wouldn't have any of the books here but I guess there's no reason why I can't check it out. It's not that far from here either: just outside the city limits.

For the past couple of days I've been meaning to clean my room, but I still haven't. It's a complete wreck. I never used to let it get that messy.

Nothing Comes Without a Price

Today, for the first time in around 2 years, I went to the public library and found "Magic and the Maddness" by J. Randy Tarroborreili, a biography about Michael that I've considered reading for a while. I also found 2 Princess Diana biographies.

Sure that I had found everything I wanted, I went to check out my books and pay my fine, but the librarian found a note in my account that said a book that I had checked out over 2 years ago had to be replaced because it had pictures cut out of it. It was a nonfiction book about Austria that I had checked out in the 7th grade and had never even opened it. I had it for a while(past it's return date) and returned it and some time later another person had checked it out and returned it a few days later noticing the cut out pictures. The librarians then put a note holding me responsible for it since I was the first person who had ever checked the book out.

And since I am held respnsible for this, the book must be completely replaced by me and it costs $20. I can't check out any books until it is.

I ended up having to call mom to pick me up since she had left me there for an hour and when she arrived, I told her the situation. Mom was VERY upset by this and actually went up to the librarians and asked them how I could be responsible for the book when 2 other people had checked it out after me and anyone who had visited the library and looked at it could have just as easily done it. The 3rd person who checked it out actually doesn't have anything to do with this IMO, it's the second person that this dispute is over. What blew Mom through the roof was when the librarian told her that she knew the second person who checked out the book and went to church with her. Mom ultimantly believes that just because you know a person and they go to church, doesn't make them not capible of destroying public property and to make a long story short, mom angrily told them that we were just going to go to another library because she wasn't going to pay for it.

I was so embarrased I was cussing Mom as soon as we got out the door. She had no right to behave that way and embarrass me like that. I don't want those women thinking I'm as much of a piece of work as she is, when I'm not. It doesn't have to be disputed this way. There has to be a way to resolve this. Mom has even called City Hall and brought this to them. This might get ugly.

I went to the library's web site and there was an email address that I can write them to. I really feel that I should and apologise for Mom and let them know that I'm not standing by her outragous actions, but I don't feel that we should be held completely responsible for something that could have just as easily happened by one of the people who checked out the book after me or someone visiting the library. Mom and Dad would probably get pissed off at me if I did though. But SOMETHING has to be done. Maybe I will.

I felt really out of whack this morning when I woke up. Like I just had no energy and when mom was asking me stuff, I had to repeat muy answers to her because she couldn't hear me. Both her and Dad even asked me if there was something wrong with me. It's hard to explain how I felt exactly. Very strange. Maybe it was just because I hadn't eaten anything in a while and I was really stressed out before I went to bed last night(or this morning actually).

Late last night I watched a TV movie on BET about a girl who who is abused and molested by her mother's boyfriend and grows up making alot of mistakes. But a well-known paster helps her to turn her life around through revival. Unfortunantly, on the last night of revival her mother's boyfriend shows up and asks her for forgiveness, but she shoots him with the gun she had in her purse. There isn't really an ending that depicts what happens to her, the the movie has a whole seems to revolve around Christianity(I guess that's a good way to describe it).

Anyway, it brought me back to my ongoing interest in the Catholic church and wiether or not I would like to convert to that religion. I have no idea why I feel this way because I still consider myself an Athiest. This is all just very wiered. Maybe I will do that one day, but now.......no.

That's pretty much what's been going on lately. I did read a little but of the USA Today paper and there was nothing interesting in it.

Christmas Break @ Last!!!!!!

Thank G-O-D. I thought I would never make it this far LOL. No fucking school until January 4th. What will I do for all this time??Last year we went to Gatlinburgh a few days after Christmas and that was fun but this year we're not really going anywhere. Ah well, I need the sleep anyway.

This morning all I had was the History exam to take, which I'm sure I made a B, or even an A on it. No biggie but I did have to wait 20 minutes in the school because I finished too early.

Since I got home I haven't went anywhere else........except Internet Land I guess. I felt high(less blah) enough today to actually listen to Janet Jackson's "Design of a Decade" album and danced around my room to "Love Will Never Do" and "Escapade".

And if any of that isn't interesting enough maybe it would be if I said "janet." will not arrive until approximatly the 20th of this month. I know doing these daily updates on wiether or not it's arrived yet is pretty retarded but I have wanted that album FOREVER and I'm so excited to finally get it.

I wish I could have rented a movie tonight but Mom had to clean up this hell-hole of a house and Haley came over with Ava, who we had to babysit for I don't know how long. Tomorrow I guess I'll be able to but I think Mom has to work this weekend......figures.

God this so pisses me off. Mom hasn't had to work at Cotton States for several weeks now, but how come she's at home less time than when she was fucking working??? Damn!!! She's doing more shit than when she was. She's working several nights at the store and doesn't get home until the middle of the night and any other time she's out doing something else. It's always fucking something.

Semester Exams: Day 2

I did quite well on my algebra semester exam today. Well, a 75-C isn't half bad IMO. I don't know what my six-weeks average will be. Probably a D or a low C at the best, I think. But all that matters is my semester average, which includes my six-weeks averages so far and my semester exams. I'm positive I've passed all of my classes this semester so I guess that's all that matters. The rest of the year will be cake.

Biology went pretty well too, considering I should have studied a little bit more but I was feeling too down last night to do so. I think I made a B or C. Not really worrying about it.

Tomorrow is my last test and then it's 2 WEEKS off!!!! Thank god. History is the one I'm taking. I don't even know why I should take a shower in the morning. I mean, I only have to take my exam and I can get up and leave as soon as I've finished. Dad is picking me up at 8:30, 20 minutes earlier so that I don't have to wait and wait.

"janet." STILL didn't come in today!! Mom said she'll have to check her email to see if she got a messege saying it isn't availible. If she hasn't then I will wait 1 MORE DAY and that's it. Why do I get this feeling like that CD was the same one I tried to order a few months ago but wasn't availible?? Daaaaayyuuuum. I'll put a million bucks on it that's the problem. Tomorrow though.....

Why do I find myself only wanting to listen to sad music with sad lyrics?? It's kinda crazy, I know but I've been listening to Janet's "The Velvet Rope" all evening and that album really does have this overlay of saddness in all of it. And you know what else?? I find myself actually loving Eminem's "When I'm Gone". Isn't that crazy?? Especially considering what he's talking about in that song.

Please^^^. How can I talk to myself like this?? Damn, I know the reason why I enjoy listening to that kind of music now and it doesn't take a psycologist to figure it out. I just MIGHT be depressed. Maybe it's just a 16-year-old thing but seriously, I don't know how long of feeling this way is going to last. I should feel happy. There's no reason why I shouldn't. But I don't.

Feeling fatigued now.

Semester Exams: Day 1

I could count on less than 1 hand the things I've done today. I took my english exam and made an A on it which kinda suprised me because I guessed on alot of the questions. Dad picked me up right after that exam was over because that was the only one I had today. I'm still a little unsure about Health though. I could be almost certian that a semester test was never mentioned. I guess I should just go with that.

Tomorrow I have to go all 3 periods because I have an exam in 4th(algebra) and 6th(Biology). God, the biology exam is going to be so horrible!!! I finally finished getting all of my study notes together and highlighting what I need to know but there's so fucking much. I don't know how I'm going to do on that test but I will have 5th period to study.

Nose is still very stuffy. I took 2 generic allgery pills and they knocked me out. I slept until 4:30 this evening.

"janet." still hasn't came yet unless nobody has checked the mail today. I know dad hasn't at least.

Today has just basically sucked. I've hardly seen mom today and right now I'm feeling really low again. I wish there was something that would perk me up.

Last FULL Day of School:)

I'm so happy that the rest of the week I won't have to go a whole school day. Tomorrow after Ms. Wallen's test I'm leaving.

My cold still hasn't gotton any better. It was especially bad this morning when I woke up with Emimem's "When I'm Gone" playing over and over and over again in my head and my fucking heater was set to 1 instead of 2 so it was really cold.

Finally I finished that god-awful poster for Healthcare and all I have to do is turn it in first thing tomorrow morning. I still haven't studied that much for my English exam though.

My Janet Jackson CD still hasn't came in yet. Maybe tomorrow and if not, Thursday for sure.

I'm so thirsty now. Need some coke.

Monday :/

What an incredibly not-so-good Monday. I've had a terrible cold all day and it hasn't gotton any better. I've felt miserable. At least I know that my Healthcare report and poster isn't due until Wednesday. I've been freaking about it since last night because I thought it was due today LOL. My MJNO PR committee Assingment #1 letter is coming along really well also. I worked on it alll 3rd period this morning. Actually, it's just a first draft I won't be done with this until Wednesday, I think.

And I got my period today. Whoop-dee-do. I felt like dying this morning with the cramps I had. Feel better now though.

OMG I can't believe I found out today that my love Chris Tucker is dating Michelle fucking Williams from Destiny's Child. Can you fucking believe that shit??? I'm still having trouble believing it. Apparently he is a devoted Christian like she is and that was what brought them together in the first place. Woo. I don't think he was my type anyway. I mean, liking God is great and all but dating someone who does is kind of a different story being that I am an Athiest and will proabably remain that until God speaks to me himself. So there!!!!!

I feel so empty. I want to be in love with someone but I haven't found anyone. Chris was the only one I wanted but that's never gonna happen. School?? Not really.

*sighs* How blah I feel right now.

Tom Meserau GQ Article

Sorry I had to post this LOL. This is a recent article(or interview, whatever you would call it) from GQ Magazine about Tom Meserau, Michael Jackson's attorney about the trial. Fabulous read:

I got a call from Randy Jackson asking me to meet his brother in Florida. Did I hesistate? No. I realized I was embarking on a major undertaking that was likely to consume. But I'm used to having a life in my hands. It's a calling.

I was curious to meet Michael. Who would not be? (Up close, Michael looks like Michael.) And I wanted to see Neverland. Elephants parade through every day.

We had to get into gear very quickly. Every day I would psych myself up - like an athlete - to have a certain level of disdain for the media. I never waved at the cameras. I don't think hardworking people who sit on juries appreciate lawyers who look like they want to be movie stars. Court TV became a tabloid. They had people following the case who were clueless as to what was really happening in the courtroom. Robert Shapiro, a former attorney for OJ Simpson, never appeared in court once, yet he consistently predicted a conviction. He looked ridiculous.

I don't prep witnesses the way they do on TV. I think jurors are very intuitive about whether a witness is honest or not. Macauly Culkin had always said, "I am available whenever you need me to tell the truth." The prosecution was trying to dissuade him from coming. Efforts were made to suggest that he had nothing to gain by testifying. Whenever anybody is in trouble in life, you find out who your friends are. And when the chips were down, many people abandoned Michael. He wanted to testify, but I decided, we're here to win this case.

I was already at the courthouse when Michael arrived to hear the verdict. I don't think it's appropriate to discuss our conversation but I will say this: Michael and I are both spiritual people and we knew that at this point, it was in God's hands.

You never get used to taking a verdict. Your heart always skips a beat - it's always a cliff-hanger. I heard rumors that the prosecution was celebrating in advance. Certainly, you're feeling good as you hear each "Not Guilty". When it was over - and it was a long four and a half minutes - Michael said to me "Thank you, thank you, thank you." We hugged each other. He was so frail. And he went right back to Neverland.

The first person I called was my girlfriend. Then I went to Neverland. Michael's brothers and sisters and his children were there, and Grace, his nanny and assistant. The feeling was very subdued - relief. There were no balloons.

Unproductive Sunday

Today, for the first time in many months, I filed and painted my nails. They're blackish red. Not exactly the most flattering color against my pale skin but I like it.

Thank god this week is the last week before Christmas vacation. But I have so much work to do!! I have to do this shit career report with a poster for Healthcare and this shit study guide thingy for English AND this study guide for Biology. AND to top that all off I have 4 semester tests to worry about. This is such horseshit but I'll get through it I guess. I don't even have to go a full school day the rest of the week after Tuesday. Wednesday I can check out after 1st period because I don't have a test 1st and 2nd period.

I forgot to mention earlier that I(well, mom) ordered "janet." by Janet Jackson from amazon yesterday!!! I'm not sure when it will be here though-maybe tomorrow or Tuesday. I'm so happy!!!! I've wanted that album forever.

I must do homework now.

Arrrrrgh!!!!!

God, I wish Fox News' Roger Friedman whould shut the fuck up with his skank ass Michael Jackson artcles!!!!!!! The fucker is nothing but a skank ass taboid journalist and seriously needs to get a fucking life. He can go fuck himself for all I care.

New Piccies!!!!!!!!

I felt like I should take some new pictures of myself using my web cam because the old ones don't look as recent anymore and my hair has changed.

I don't think they're that good to be honest. My makeup could have been better. But here they are:







There were more but they're awful. Maybe I'll take more later.

New Template...

The green template got kinda old so I chose this dark one, which I'm feeling a little bit. If I don't like it tomorrow it's back to something brighter.

School was good today. I didn't feel as low as I have lately. Maybe it's just that I got to drink coffee this morning. I dunno.

I wish these bullshit rumors about Michael would fucking stop!!!! Recently there have been some and I know with all my heart they aren't true but it still pisses me off.

To hell with the media!!!! I can't believe I once wanted to become famous as a zoologist hosting a wildlife show. For years I fantasised about that. Now I want nothing to do with the media. To medical school I go.......

Mild Depression Gets Old Fast....

I felt really low again today. I don't understand I mean, I got enough sleep but I was still struggling to stay awake in some of my classes. Maybe it's because I didn't get to have coffee this morning, but every online depression test I've taken recently has come back with "mild depression symptoms". Why should I be suprised?? Since I was 12 years old my life has been like a damn roller coaster and my social life has been non-existint for almost that long. But then again at least I could find my own way to escape from it and be happy. BUT it's has become more and more obvious in the past couple of months that this has gotton noticably worse.

I'm hoping that this doesn't get worse. I would be so scared if it did and I had to get on antidepressants because of what those can make you do.

Perhapes tomorrow will not be so grey in my mind.

~~Guilt~~

OMG my poor dog Snowy. It's so cold now and I feel so bad when I think of him having to live in this kind of crappy weather all the time. I wish there was something I could do. Perhapes I could go put some towels in his doghouse so he'll be warmer.

Ms. Milner cam back to school today. I didn't think she would be back until after Christmas but I saw her as soon as I came into class and I hugged her and asked if she was OK. She seems really fine. She's staying at her mother's house for the time being. I hope she gets her life back together.

~Thoughts~

In school this past week, there were a few days where I couldn't go to the library and so I felt like I should write down what I'm feeling and/or what I'm having issues with at the moment. I must have alot of those since these are as long as novels:

November 29, 2005 3rd-4th period
Dammit, the library is closed and I won't be able to get online until I get home. Dammit!

I think I may go paranoid if I keep obsessing over that Debbie Rowe story [possibly] being posted on MJNO once again. It's been posted 5 times already and all [of those threads] have been closed but thankfully every one of [the articles] have come from the same source. Damn, sometimes I wish [more] people were aware that many other people who work for the media read these forums to find an interesting story to run with.

Things like this regarding Michael Jackson spread, just like that "bathroom incident"and those Good Morning America tapes. Utterly ridiculus. If the moment was appropiate, I would say "If you don't want the media coming here, reading these stories, running with them, and [putting thier own spin on them] just like the rest of them were, and giving way for another news source to follow up on that.....then don't post them here." It's the same damn pattern and everytime it happens, Michael and his publicist have to deal with it and release a statement to clear everything up. It doesn't end.

But I know I can't blame anyone on any Michael Jackson forum for providing a certian news story because they might be confused over wiether or not it's true, BUT alof of them are posted out of the fact that it's just an interesting and what gets me with that is that person does not question the authanticity of the storie or, more importantly, the source of it.

The reason why I'm stressing this now is because all of us [who are] fans of Michael(and even some who aren't) want him to come back with his new charity single coming out soon and [want it to be successful]. I would wish that [one day] we can appreciate him for [only] his talent and music again. I know this sounds very PR friendly and stupid, but things like this(tabloid stories) do indeed make people question your credibilty as an artist. It can hurt your career in a way, unfortunantly.........

Wrote a few more entries. Will update soon.

**Rainy Morning**

It's 9:05 am and everybody else is still asleep. Well, I don't know about dad though he probably went to get breakfast for himself or something. Don't really know where he is actually.

It's cold and rainy. I rented a movie last night starring Liv Tyler called "Stealing Beauty" and I still haven't watched it yet.

I don't know what I'm going to do today other than that. There is this song that I've been meaning to buy and download and it's called "Elsewhere" by Sarah McLachlan. Such a beautiful song!!! Here are the lyrics:

I love the time
and inbetween
the calm inside me in the space
where I can breathe

I believe there is a distance
I have wandered to touch upon the years of
reaching out
and reaching in
holding out
holding in.

I believe
this is heaven
to no one else but me
and I'll defend it as long as
I can be
left here to linger
in silence
if I
choose to
would you
try to
understand.

I know this love
is passing time
passing through like liquid
I am drunk in my desire
but I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and
hold me near..

I believe..

I believe
this is heaven
to no one else but me
and I'll defend it as long as
I can be
left here to linger
in silence
if I
choose to
would you
try to
understand.

Oh the quiet child
awaits the day
when she can break free
the mold that clings like desperation.

Mother
can't you see I've got to
live my life the way I feel is
right for me
might not be right for you but it's
right for me..

I believe...

I believe
this is heaven
to no one else but me
and I'll defend it as long as
I can be
left here to linger
in silence
if I
choose to
would you
try to
understand it.

I would
like to
linger
here in
silence
if I
choose to
would you
try to
understand...

Algebra Sucks!!!!

The last half of today was very stressful for me. In algebra there was a test on Graphing and I thought I was going to do OK because I did very well during yesterday's review, but we got them back soon after we took them and my grade was...............a 0 out of 100 points.

OMG I still can't believe it. I also can't believe I allowed myself to accept it. There was no reason why I shouldn't have made an A or B on that test and the thing that really messed me up was getting the negative and positive signs wrong, which is what I've been having trouble with since we started this unit. I should have immediatly asked if I could retake the test and maybe get half credit(better than nothing) but I didn't because I was in so much shock. I tried not to cry, but I couldn't control it. I have a lump in my throat just typing this now.

This is horrible. I could literally fail this class. I don't understand how my grades in one course could drop so drastically. The rest of my courses are fine. But I have to keep telling myself that there will be other opurtunities to bring my average up. Next week we're doing reviews for Semester exams so there will be homework grades. Also there is the semester exam itself which could really bring up my average if I made an A or B on it, but I'm still not sure if that will be averaged in or not. I'll have to ask.

I'm going to really apply myself this coming week if I want this grade to come up. I should also do extra credit, if Coach Boman gives us any. I am really pissed off at myself for allowing this bullshit to go on for this long and now I have to kick my own ass with I only have a week and a half left to get a decent average. This is depressing me even more than I already am.